Several days ago, I heard some of my friends talking about their husband which keep me thinking a lot. One lady shared that her husband had sex with so many woman since he was young. The story was going like this. Ms. A love Mr. B, but A’s father did not allow they married, so Mr. B go to married another girl. Ms. A was disappointed and fainted in her factory, then Mr. C helped to bring her to the hospital. Then Ms. A decided to married Mr. C very quick. After several years of their marriage, Ms.A had mistress with Mr.B and made Mr.C to feel wretched. Then Mr. C decided to sleep around with as many women as he can, no matter how old they are, how beautiful or ulgy they are.
It recalled me some passages in "Norwegian wood" when Wanatabe said he sleep around when he missed Naoko and while he did it, he imagined Naoko. It seems like those stories happen every where, every age. But when does this circus stop? what if Mr.C above or Wanatabe broke up other girl’ heart? Isn't that fair for another victims, is it? Yeap, the novel also helps me to understand that there are a lot of women willing to do that. Maybe I am not mature enough to understand what they call "phisiologicall needs". Maybe I will change that mindset after 10 or 20 years later. But right now I still can not understand. Why are people keep doing bad thing with others, just because they are stuck in their own life or just because they think it will help them forgot another one. Don't they see that is unfair and that will never help a thing?
It recalled me some passages in "Norwegian wood" when Wanatabe said he sleep around when he missed Naoko and while he did it, he imagined Naoko. It seems like those stories happen every where, every age. But when does this circus stop? what if Mr.C above or Wanatabe broke up other girl’ heart? Isn't that fair for another victims, is it? Yeap, the novel also helps me to understand that there are a lot of women willing to do that. Maybe I am not mature enough to understand what they call "phisiologicall needs". Maybe I will change that mindset after 10 or 20 years later. But right now I still can not understand. Why are people keep doing bad thing with others, just because they are stuck in their own life or just because they think it will help them forgot another one. Don't they see that is unfair and that will never help a thing?
I questioned like this long time ago, and whenever i met some similar situations I asked it again, and I know I might continue to keep asking myself many times in the future. Even I tried to put myself in their "shoes", but still believe that the human brain is powerful and we should be able to control it.
Yeap, I understand that everyone is in different circumstance, i should accepted that rather than question it. Just live the way I like, just become the person I want to become. But I am living in that spiderweb. How can avoid that ?
I went with the book name “ Tiny beautiful things”. Basically its a collection of letter from many people to one consultant named “Sugar” about their life problems. Maybe because i want to, like to read this topic and hope i can find somethings from it. Coz do i need it too?
But then, did it help? I threw me stories about unfaithful in love, about betray, about triangular relationship. It told me how complicated one’s romantic life is and how diversity the people in this world is. It recalled me all the complex relationships of my friends I ever known. All those secrets made my eyes opened several years ago since I was in undergraduate, but after all those years pass by, until now I realized that I still was being “ too black and white”. Or I am stubborn enough to still believed and looking for the “pure and last long” relationship. I doubt my self so many times, and it do disappointed, upset me sometimes. Here and there, my friend cheated her husband and had a baby with another guy, another friend had sex with one guy (which they definitely should not have that kind of relationship) before she get married with another guy who are common friend of us, and I am a friend with both guys . Another friend slept around with a lot of my girl friends i knew, another adulteress case was in the office where I worked… All of them are quite close to me, and I can not deny that the life outside may full of shit like that. I were aware of it by myself but in all case, I have no choice to shut up and just witness all this strategy. Keep silence is the best thing for their life, at least at that moment, i think and i hope i do right.
Is life so complicated like that? Should I lose my hope in my life relationship ahead? Could I find person with whom I can grow old with, with whom i can trust completely and love completely. I know people in this world is so diverse with different mindset, and there are some people they wish for as much lover as they can. Nothing against them, but I just can never understand their ideology. I only need one, only one for my whole life. But why it is seems so hard? Am I wrong with my definition of life and love. Don’t have “perfect couple” and “last long relationship” at all?
There are some couples I’ve known, they’ve failed to keep their vows at some points along the way of their marriage, but know, in lately in their life, I see they are very happy together again. Did they really happy as I know?
Is marriage this horribly complex things about which i seem to be utterly naive?
Is it painful like that?
I told myself so many times that stop questioning about love and life but move into it.
But i feel so down now, i almost get lost in that.
“its hard to wait for something you know might not happen. But it’s even harder to give up when you know it’s everything you want”
But then, did it help? I threw me stories about unfaithful in love, about betray, about triangular relationship. It told me how complicated one’s romantic life is and how diversity the people in this world is. It recalled me all the complex relationships of my friends I ever known. All those secrets made my eyes opened several years ago since I was in undergraduate, but after all those years pass by, until now I realized that I still was being “ too black and white”. Or I am stubborn enough to still believed and looking for the “pure and last long” relationship. I doubt my self so many times, and it do disappointed, upset me sometimes. Here and there, my friend cheated her husband and had a baby with another guy, another friend had sex with one guy (which they definitely should not have that kind of relationship) before she get married with another guy who are common friend of us, and I am a friend with both guys . Another friend slept around with a lot of my girl friends i knew, another adulteress case was in the office where I worked… All of them are quite close to me, and I can not deny that the life outside may full of shit like that. I were aware of it by myself but in all case, I have no choice to shut up and just witness all this strategy. Keep silence is the best thing for their life, at least at that moment, i think and i hope i do right.
Is life so complicated like that? Should I lose my hope in my life relationship ahead? Could I find person with whom I can grow old with, with whom i can trust completely and love completely. I know people in this world is so diverse with different mindset, and there are some people they wish for as much lover as they can. Nothing against them, but I just can never understand their ideology. I only need one, only one for my whole life. But why it is seems so hard? Am I wrong with my definition of life and love. Don’t have “perfect couple” and “last long relationship” at all?
There are some couples I’ve known, they’ve failed to keep their vows at some points along the way of their marriage, but know, in lately in their life, I see they are very happy together again. Did they really happy as I know?
Is marriage this horribly complex things about which i seem to be utterly naive?
Is it painful like that?
I told myself so many times that stop questioning about love and life but move into it.
But i feel so down now, i almost get lost in that.
“its hard to wait for something you know might not happen. But it’s even harder to give up when you know it’s everything you want”
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